Blame It on the Eggnog
by TamIsMyFather
Summary: Nobody had warned Mike about the eggnog. Written for a prompt on the Suits meme.


**Written for a prompt by roslindi on the Suits meme: "Mike gets drunk and handsy* with Harvey at the annual Pearson Hardman Completely Non-Denominational Winter Holiday Party**.**

***IT'S NOT MIKE'S FAULT, OKAY? NO ONE WARNED HIM ABOUT THE SUPER POTENT EGGNOG.**

****Pearson Hardman is a totally professional and unbiased working environment, and they all got a memo about this so they had better remember it this year, or Louis _will_ make a scene about the firm being exposed to discrimination law suits."**

* * *

><p>Nobody had warned Mike about the eggnog.<p>

Harvey thought it was funny. At first.

He was seated in the corner, trying not to smirk as Mike stumbled drunkenly around and gave hugs to every associate in the room. But then Mike spotted him and everything just went to hell.

"Harvey!" he shouted, despite being only two feet away.

Harvey looked around, desperately hoping there were some other Harvey nearby.

"I found some mistletoe," Mike said, plopping down in the chair next to him. "Now I gotta kiss someone. Whoa, you gotta nice table here."

"Go kiss your girlfriend," said Harvey. He'd last seen Jenny talking to that paralegal whose name Harvey refused to remember. (He was already too invested in the soap opera that was Mike's life; memorizing names might be taken as a sign of _caring._)

"Nah, she's makin' out with Rachel."

Harvey didn't have to think about that one twice. "Then I'm going to go find your girlfriend."

Mike gestured to somewhere behind Harvey. "See? There she is! Hiiii Jenny!"

Harvey turned around and sighed. "Mike, that's a coat rack."

"Yeah, but _tha's_ Jenny's coat, and _tha's_ Rachel's coat."

"How much have you had to drink?"

Mike grinned. "Nothin', man, I swear. God, this eggnog's _good_!"

"Where's Donna?" Harvey asked. "She was supposed to prevent you from embarrassing me."

"I'm not 'barrassing you," Mike said. "Heh. Bare-assing you."

Harvey's phone buzzed with an incoming text. He sighed and opened it.

**I'm not his babysitter, Harvey**, Donna wrote.

Harvey stood. "Well, this has been great, but I've got to go throw my phone out the window. You stay here and pretend you don't exist, okay?"

Mike nodded. "'Kay. I'll come with you." He started to stand.

Harvey pushed him back into the chair. "_No._ Sit. Stay." He took a few steps back. "Good boy."

For a full thirty seconds, he was free.

"Mike, let _go._"

"You're the bes' boss _ever_," Mike said into his back. "Like, ser'ously, I love you so much."

"No. No hugging. Hugging is _bad. I will sue you._"

Mike let go. "You wouldn't sue me," he said, swaying dangerously. "'Cause I know you _care_ about me."

Harvey rubbed at the space between his eyes. "No, I care about how my drunken associate makes me look when he's making a fool of himself at the company Christmas party."

Harvey's phone buzzed.

**Pearson Hardman Completely Non-Denominational Winter Holiday Party**, Donna informed him. **Don't let Louis catch you calling it Christmas.**

Now there was an idea.

"Go hug Louis if you need someone to suck up to," Harvey said, edging away.

Mike frowned and grabbed at Harvey's sleeve. "He's not the boss of me."

"Go hug Jessica then," he said desperately, trying to shake Mike's hand free.

"She scares me," Mike muttered.

That gave Harvey pause. "You're scared of Jessica… but you're not scared of me?"

Mike's face lit up. "Nope!"

Harvey was aghast. "What have I been doing wrong?" he asked.

Unfortunately, being brought face to face with his crumbling reputation had caused him to let his guard down, and suddenly Mike was on him, arms thrown around Harvey and face buried in his shoulder.

"I love you, man," Mike said loudly.

"Harvey?" asked Jessica.

Harvey's face was _not_ red. And he was _definitely_ not blushing. He would perjure himself if he had to.

"Am I interrupting something?" she went on. Harvey hoped that was a hint of amusement in her voice, and not a hint of _You are so fired._

He tried not to grit his teeth, and put on his most winning smile. "Jessica," Harvey said faintly, "Would you please get me some eggnog?"


End file.
